Monday, June 29, 2009

Black Humor Thought of the Day

This image just popped into my head:  Cheryl Hickey, at my door, saying, "This whole year and a half of crap that was your life?...It was all a ploy for ET Canada's "'Celebrity Makeover'!"  Or worse, Ashton Kutcher pops up around the corner and screams, "You've been PUNKED!"

Oh well.  Either way, I still got to look pretty and take home shoes.


I was a least for one day.  I have to say, it was pretty sweet--probably one of the best days I've had in the last year and a half.  If life for celebrities is like this all the time, sign me up!  It was exactly what I needed (and more) to pick me up from the gutter I was drowning in.

My celebrity makeover extravaganza began at 9 in the morning at Holt Renfrew in downtown Vancouver.  My buddy Chris dropped me off, and I was promptly whisked upstairs to the store, which wasn't yet open.  Rebecca, my stylist, put me into a dressing room with four armfuls of clothes.  Thus began my dream come true.

Here I am, looking frightened.  It took a little while getting used to putting on clothes and having a small crowd of producers, hosts, Holt Renfrew people, and camera crew giving their opinions about what I was wearing.

I kinda knew right away that this dress was a keeper.  It's a Tory Burch dress with Prada heels.  I never thought I'd be using the word "prada" so casually, but yeah, I guess I am.

This dress was pretty dope too.  But it kinda made me feel like my Meemaw (godmother).  I think it was the texture of the material that reminded me of Meemaw's muumuus (try saying that five times).

I almost took this outfit home.  It was a freakin' leather pleated skirt!  Talk about hotttt...

Jenn really liked this outfit.  It was her favourite.  It was nice enough, but perhaps too nice, if you know what I mean.  And I wasn't really going for "nice"...

Here I am getting my hair cut off.  Cut it off!  Cut it off!

Makeup and nails.  Between the haircut and the makeup and manicure, I ate lobster sushi and drank champagne while getting a pedicure. Oh yeah...

Weeeeeee! I'm pretty!

Here's Mr. Fussypants attacking a stray hair that was resistant to his industrial hairspray. My photog is in the background. He was nice too.

Do you like that necklace I'm wearing? It can be yours for $900.

Surprise! My buddy Chris shows up.  The expression on his face means, "I thought I was looking at a mannequin, but holy crap! It's Brandy!"  Yep.

This cowl neck thing I'm wearing here was super comfy and soft.  Kinda like a Slanket, except way more expensive.

You might be surprised to know that I hadn't had much practice straddling a chair until that day.

What do you do when you have a buttload of people working on you? Stand very still.

My. Shoes. Are. Awesome.

Me and ET Canada host Cheryl Hickey talking about the radness of the makeover.

My lying, scheming friends and me.  Without their deception, none of this would have been possible.  Thanks, guys!

Jenn would make a lovely ET Canada host, doncha think?

And I do believe that Chris should give up his job as English prof. and switch careers.

Me, Cheryl, and my super stylist, Rebecca.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Make Me Over

If there's one thing I haven't been able to complain about during the past four months, it's been boredom in my life. Actually, there are a lot of things I can complain about, yet at this moment I find myself slightly smiling. A grin, perhaps.

I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop, even though I've had about 50 pairs dropped on my head already. And I tell myself to NEVER say that it can't get any worse, because frankly, it can.

Now that I'm all out of cryptic aphorisms, I will report some exciting yet extremely odd news. I was nonchalantly chilling with my buddy C., waiting for our buddy J. to show up to go out to lunch, waiting, waiting, waiting...Now, J. isn't the type of person you would call "flaky," but she was being kinda flaky today--which I found to be odd behavior. Actually, she and C. were both acting goofy, but I blamed C.'s jetlag for his goofiness.

Anyway, after waiting for J. for almost 90 minutes, the doorbell rang. And who is standing on the other side of the door but a cameradude, a producer, and Cheryl Hickey, of Entertainment Tonight Canada! Freakin' WEIRD. Like, not something you expect to happen to you on a random Tuesday afternoon, while waiting for your friend to come to your house so you can go get lunch at a Korean restaurant (which was a total set-up, obviously, and so after Cheryl and the gang departed, C. and I went for schwarma on Main). So yeah, Cheryl is there at MY house--which, by the way, is totally chaotic from remnants of my craft-fest on Saturday night--telling me that I'm going to have a "celebrity makeover" tomorrow--complete with clothes, hair, make-up and photoshoot! What?! Yes!

Um, okay.

So there you go.

It's the middle of June, the middle of 2009, and it's time for a whole new me (with some of the good-ol'-me thrown in for good measure).