I do the things I do.
There's a nice article out there, "Cancer patient readies for surgery with boobies bash". On the righthand side of the article, you can also click on the link to hear the radio interview I did yesterday morning.
Unfortunately, some of the comments about the article are not so nice. In fact, they are downright mean-spirited. When I first scrolled down and read the comments, I was really upset. I mean, I just couldn't understand why someone could call me "pathetic and gross," that I have "the wrong attitude," that I have "no shame and no brains," and so on. I couldn't understand all the insults--it just felt completely demeaning in a time when I'm trying to not get down on myself and be depressed.
And then I think, this is why women are silenced about having cancer, whether it be breast, ovarian, or cervical cancer. They think that no one understands, and like I said on the 11 o'clock news story, cancer is a lonely place. It truly is. And what cancer patients DON'T need is more loneliness or judgment.
But what I remember from last evening are the two women who were the first to arrive at the event. They weren't my family or friends, but they came because they were going through chemotherapy and wanted to find out information and meet other people who were going through the hell they were experiencing. I remember others whom I didn't know that well but who came out for support or to offer support. I remember the kids painting the casts, having fun, being in a loving environment. I remember my friends and family who came, and those who weren't able to but who have emailed me loving thoughts. Creating a safe space, a nurturing space, a space where people can come together and support one another--not just supporting myself--this is why I do the things I do, including being very public and vocal about my cancer experience.
I am not ashamed, and I believe I have the right attitude. So you assholes out there that think I'm pathetic and gross--FUCK YOU! I'm glad I got that off my chest, especially at a time when I have to have my cancer off my chest too!
Now, for some positive thinking and images...The final fund raising tally from last night: $580 for the Canadian Cancer Society and $600 for Friends for Life. Awesome.